So things have been going well eating wise.  I have been sticking with my plan.  Next week i am gonig to mix up my lunch a little bit.  Eating the salad and veggies today was like shoveling cardboard into my mouth.  I am going to have it one more day tommorow and then i will mix it after thanksgiving.  I have a lot to be grateful for.  The list is very long.  I have been feelnig some anxiety the last couple of days.  It could be related to some new stress at work, im not really sure.  Felt a little dizzy today and yesterday at work.  I used to suffer from really bad panic/anxiety attacks but they have gotten a lot better in recent years.  I would say they are probably 99% better.  Thank God.  So thats one of the many things i have to be grateful for.  I thought that today and yesterday it could of been low blood sugar maybe.  Im not sure, i had some dried fruit ( as all i could find) today and it did make me feel a bit better.  It usually disappears as quickly as it comes, This Too Shall Pass.    So i am gonig to try to start eating dinner earlier.  I am gonig to try and not eat (except ice pops of course) after 7pm starting tommorow.  Lets see what happens.  Until next time…

i know i posted this one already but i really like it

another headshot

I waited.  I was pretty good the past couple of days eating wise.  I could have been better but i also could have been a lot worse.  Last night, after having my 3 meals i got hungry really late at night and i was out and wanted something greasy, like a burger or a hot dog.  But i decided to wait it out.  About 15 minutes later i realized i wasnt really hungry and that the craving was gone.  Then today i stopped at a rest area for a coffee with a friend who will remain nameless.  So i got a coffee and my friend got a coffee, a personal pan pizza from pizza hut and a delicious looking cinnabon.  I wanted a cinnabon and a pizza but i realized that i would have felt like hell afterwards.  So i said no.  What a powerful word.  Gym tommorow morning before work.  Until next time…

Not a chauffeur anymore regis!

So i missed blogging yesterday sorry.  I was a little stressed about work and recovering from my birthday.  It was the first day i missed but im sure it wont be the last.  So i weighed in at…drum roll please…. 335.8.  So i lost 1.1 lbs from 11-12 to 11-20.  I want it to fall off faster but i know its healthy to lose 1-2 lbs a week.  Ive just been really good and expected more but just to be going down is positive.  So to recap (as always) I was 381 on lets say nov 15th, 2008 then 347.4 on 10/26/09 then 338.4 on 11/1 and 336.9 on 11/12 and now 335.8 on 11/20.  WOO HOO! I am excited.  I had 2 very good eating days, usual oatmeal for breakfast and salad and veggies for lunch (still not tired of it and when i am i will mix it up).  Then i had turkey burgers with homemade grilled french fries and some veggies yesterday.  Then today i had 2 turkey burgers that were left over.  Things are looking up!!  I just need to keep on truckin and my goal of getting under 300 will be reached soon, maybe not by the end of the year which was my original timetable but i WILL get there.  Thank you everyone for all your support and birthday wishes, and even those who bought me presents.  I am not even worried about thanksgiving.  Ill be sure to eat a lot of salad to start and have a lot of veggies with my dinner.  I will probably cheat a bit and have some mashed potatoes but they will be a human sized portion. Anyway that is days away, lets live in the now, the scale doesnt lie and it is going down down down!! Until next time…

So today was a good eating day.  I had a good oatmeal breakfast, veggies and salad for lunch.  Then for dinner i had some ribs @ my moms house. WIth broccoli and carrots on the side.  No cake!! i didnt want it, now is the time to change my ways! This is going to be short, im gonna go enjoy the rest of my birthday.  Life is good, Gods been good to me, im grateful, my mom got me the best card ever! and i played jenga with my nephew, whos got it better than me! The ice cream was from mcdonalds yesterday…ding ding Brianne is the winner!! Until next time…

oh snap...

So today is my birthday!  I ate pretty well today.  I had oatmeal for breakfast, my usual salad and veggies for lunch.  Then i had a chicken shiskabob in the afternoon.  I had a steak for dinner with string beans, asparagus and zucchini and onions.  I also had an ice cream this afternoon.  It was 150 calories and 5 grams of fat for a vanilla cone, anyone wanna guess where it was from??  So my bday is here, im 33 and ready to lose this weight.  Its a happy birthday, i have a lot to be grateful for.  Tommorow i will go to my moms house for dinner and play a board game with her, my sis and my nephew… whos got it better than me?  Until next time…

eating cotton candy at the jersey shore this summer

Had my usual oatmeal breakfast.  Salad and veggies for lunch.  Things were going well and then i went out to eat for dinner… I went out with Sam and her fam for her birthday.  We went to Edo’s.  I had the steak and lobster hibachi but i also ate everything that comes along with it.  I had the veggies to start out with and the shrimp and the salad and the soup.  I also had some ice cream for dessert.  Not the best of days, not the worst of days.  I am going to go to the gym tommorow, i havent been going as regularly as i feel like i need to.  My birthday is wednesday but i am not going out to eat for it.  I am going to try to go out and eat as little as possible.  When i eat at home i do well, when i eat out i dont do as well.  My mom and sis are going to cook for my b-day.  As i said i am going to chill out on the restaraunt eating for a while.  I am going to lose this weight, no matter how long it takes.  I am determined.  Until next time…

who is THAT?

i realize that my problem in the past hasnt been being on the wrong diet but rather not sticking with it.  Today was a good eating day.  I havent been as good about exercising as i want to be.  I am the one who is responsible to change that.  So this morning i was on the road but i wanted to start the day right so  i found some instant oatmeal in a gas station and used the hot water they have for tea.  I am willing to go to any lengths!  Then for lunch i had some chicken wings.  I know people have said they are bad for you but i was craving em.  Then for dinner i had steak and shrimp, with asparagus, string beand and zucchini and onions.  I needed a break from salad today.  so here is the list i was talking about yesterday of some of the reasons i hate being fat, im sure there are others that i just cant think of right now.  Here goes in no particular order: 

I hate having to shop in a special store or a special section of a store for my clothes, i have broken chairs and i still get a little afraid when i sit in a chair i havent sat in before, i dont want to die young, when girls look at me im not sure if they are thinking “wow hes handsome” or ”wow hes fat” or “wow hed be handsome if he wasnt so fat”, i want to go on the rides at six flags,  when going on auditions i dont want them all to be “fat guys”, i think it will boost my self esteem and help with insecurities, i want to walk on the beach with confidence this summer, to not have to worry about the person next to me on an airplane going “OMG they stuck me next to the fat guy”, so i can cross my legs, so i dont have to tell people taking my picture “from the neck up please”, and im sure there are more reasons. Until next time…

looking at the menu at dennys, 2 summers ago

a pic from a commercial i did a few years ago

The day started out well.  I went to the fitness center at the hotel and worked out.  It went downhill from there.  It is hard to sit here and be totally honest about everything i  put past my lips today but i know if i am going to succeed, and i am, that i have to be honest.  ok here goes: No breakfast.  For lunch we went to Chili’s where we got the $20 special, you get 1 app to split, 2 entrees and 1 dessert to split.  We got nachos as the app, i had a few of the chips with some cheese and ground beef on them.  Then i ordered the Quesadilla Explosion Salad.  Not the healthiest of salads, but a salad nonetheless.  Then you get 3 shot glass desserts.  I had the Cinnamon roll one, it was good btw.  Then for dinner we went to Longhorn steakhouse.  I had a ribeye steak with seasonal veggies as the side.  I had some bread with butter before the salads came out.  I guess it wasnt the worst of days, ive been worse but i wanted to be good this weekend, oh well back to the grind tommorow.  I am going to try to make tommorow one of those close to perfect days to get right back on track.  Winston Churchill said success consists of going from failure to failure without loss of enthusiasm.  I live to fight another day, i have to get over this hump of messing up on the weekends.  Im so tired of being fat.  Tommorow i think im gonna make a list of all the reasons i hate being fat.  Not to be morbid or depressive just to remind myself of all the reasons i am doing this in the first place.  I WILL SUCCEED!  Until next time…

I saw don mclean in concert in glenside pa tonight.  He really rocked the house, American Pie and Vincent were great.  Castles in the Air is one of my fav songs and he did a great job on it.  But my favorite song of the night was Crying.  He does an awesome cover of this Roy Orbison song, it really brough the house down, it was one of those times when someone gets a standing ovation because people want to, not because they feel like they have to.  Anyway, i had oatmeal for breakfast then salad for lunch.  I had lunch early, about 11 am.  Then i got on the road @ about 4 with no healthy snacks for what turned out to be a 3 hour drive.  When i finally got a snack at about 730 i had some cashews and… some beef jerky.  It was a small bag, probably not the healthiest choice but it is what it is.  Then we went to Fridays for dinner after the show, the only thing open in this rurual area.  I had Chicken and Shrimp with cheese, it came with mashed potatoes which i substituted for Brocolli.  I only had a bit of the cheese and ate the shrimp and chicken (which was grilled).  So for being hungry and on the road i did pretty good.  And as Samantha pointed out, imagine what i wouldve eaten if i werent watching my calories.  So i did pretty well, i will have a salad for lunch tommorow at the King Of Prussia mall and then probably a steak tommorow night in AC.  There is a gym here at the hotel and i am going to work out there in the morning.  So to recap, don mclean rocked it and i didnt do so bad myself.  Until next time…

Last summer, i look a little dopey but i still like it...lol

so i was bad on the weekend and this is my weigh in from tonight, you know we are always less in the morning… look at me making excuses…lol.  So the suspense is over i weighed in at 336.9!  i lost 1.5 lbs since 11/1.  I was 381 on lets say nov 15th, 2008 then 347.4 on 10/26/09 then 338.4 on 11/1 and now 336.9 on 11/12.  I wish i would have lost more but i am heading in the right direction.  I am learning new eating habits.  Its only a matter of time now, but how much time??!! now i have 37 lbs to lose in 47 days.  I am trying to get under 300 by jan 1st.  It is a short term goal i set for myself.  I am headed that way, if i get there by then, thats great, if it takes until march 1st thats ok!! I ate as good as i can today! I had my oatmeal for breakfast, salad and veggies for lunch and leftover turkey burgers and veggies for dinner.  Some low fat cheese during the day for a snack.  Im about to have a sugar free jello and you all know about my ice pops by now   Im going away for the weekend, i am going to try to be as good as i can.  Ill keep you posted, im bringing my laptop with me! Until next time…

I look happy